I lost my big brother almost two years ago. Not in the usual way we humans "lose" someone we love, but it's just as gutwrenching and painful. And...its taboo to talk about. You can't embarass your family by telling people about it.
Well, to hell with taboos. I'm talking.
My big brother is wrongly imprisoned for attempted murder. *There*, I said it.
Yes, he shot someone. He shot a methamphetamine addict and thief he caught in his house stealing from him. He shot the guy and his buddy IN THE KNEE. THAT constitutes attempted murder in the state of Florida, USA. Did you know this?
He was immediately arrested, even though HE called the police. Florida is supposed to be a "Castle" state...as in "A Man's Home is His Castle" and he has the right to defend it with deadly force if it is under attack by intruders (which my brother's home was).
Well....ONLY if you use a weapon that the Judge likes, apparently. My brother used an AR-15 to shoot the ass in the knee. The weapon was properly licensed to my brother, who has a military background and is well trained in the use of this weapon. One shot, one kill...right between the eyes. He wasn't trying to kill the ass, he was STOPPING HIM FROM LEAVING WITH HIS STUFF...and sending a message. YOU WONT STEAL FROM ME ANYMORE....AND IM TIRED OF YOUR CRAP, GET OFF THE METH and GET A JOB!
The judge in his case declared him a menace to society! He was forbidden bond while he mounted his legal defense, and the judge cut corners and threw out exculpatory evidence as if it was yesterday's pantiliner.
July 30, 2009, she sent my brother away until 2019. He will be 58 when he is released just shy of his birthday. An old man. His son will be 20 years old (10 when his Dad lost his life)....
I haven't been allowed to write or visit my brother. The only thing I am allowed to do is send money to him on his account. Same for our parents, who live 9 hours away from him now (instead of 5 minutes as had been the case).
Our parents are exhausting their retirement savings in order to defend my big brother, my hero. He has already lost his home, his wife, his son....and now our parents are losing their retirement fund to appeal this travesty of justice.
The meth-head? They took him to the hospital, cleaned him up, released him...and he's up to his same old tricks. He had to find a new house to rob though....my brother's place stands empty. It foreclosed the first week of August 2010. Our parents have sold or stored my brother's belongings, and they took in his dogs. His wife has divorced my brother and moved on and my nephew...misses his Dad terribly.
Life...interrupted. My big brother. My hero. My defender as a child and teenager, I have so many hilarious and wonderful memories of growing up with him.
We went to Catholic school. He was an altarboy. He and his altarboy buddies got into the wine once. Got it BIG trouble for that one. He kicked the ass of a guy who got out of line with me once. Of course, in high school I didnt date too much. My big brother was right there to convince other guys to find someone else....so protectie he was of his little "Sissy".
I miss him. It's weird to talk about him in the past tense, but in some ways you have to when a loved one is sent away. "Jim would have loved this meal"..."Mike would have loved that picture". "Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday....turkey was his favorite"....see what I mean?
And yet...I find myself in this position fairly often....and it brings tears. Especially when I see his mugshot. It breaks my heart all over again. He looks so tough and so hard....like a bad guy and I know he is NOT. I can't imagine how my mother handles this....if it tears me up like this, I don't know how she gets out of bed. But she does, and so do I. Life does go on.
I wish I could hit the lottery. I would fund my big brother's defense all the way to the US Supreme Court. Whatever it takes to get him HOME with his famil and to return him to my young nephew, so his father won't be a stranger to him when he's 20 years old.
At any rate...to my Big Brother, I love you! I miss you. And we'll be RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU!!!!! Always...
Your Little Sissy...
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Where I like to put my purse....
So, alrighty then. Did a little experiment on FB to see what would happen. Well, me and a few of my galpals did. Apparently this has been done before, but this was my first go-round...and the results were quite hilarious. Here goes:
A few of us decided we would change our status lines to where we like to put our purse when we walk in the door, only we wouldn't explain what we were talking about. So, I changed my status to read:
"I like mine on the living room chair....near my room! Or sometimes, the kitchen table."
Well it would seem that most of my friends on FB are men....because the reaction was instanteous and positively combustible. Hil-a-ri-ous. And quite predictable.
They all thought we were talking about SEX. :))
While I won't copy and paste their comments here because I don't thin that's fair, I can tell you I was forced to take my status line down early today because I was inundated with indecent proposals and comments. *sigh*
But, out of the chaos, came some coolness. A good friend of my big brother's has reconnected with me. My mother LOVED HIM when we were in high school. I crushed on him badly....but from a safe distance at school....and at home with my Dad and big brother around to throw cold water on us when our flirting got out of hand.
So we had a nice chat last night. I learned that MY MOTHER made him take me out the one and only time we ever went out. I was 15, he was 17. I can't believe my mother was that big of an IDIOT!!!! I am now the mother of a 15 year old girl (who loos incredibly like I did at the same age), and I would in NO WAY fix her up with a boy and make him take her out. OMG...I am SO relieved she has decided SHE doesn't want to date so she can focus on school and wrestling! Yay!
But I digress, so this fella took me out on a Friday night. We cruised the usual hangouts in his car (can't even remember what he drove back then), then I guess in his brilliant, hormone induced mind, figured if MY MOM gave him permission to take her 15 year old out, he had permission to take me PARKING!!! He told me last night he only wanted a kiss (which he got, and I was pretty happy about it the time) but when he pushed for more, I was pretty repulsed and told him to take me home. Unbeknownst to him he was out with a virgin who intended to remain that way....at least a little longer than that evening! ;)
So, he took me home and I quickly lost my crush on him. *poof* I told my brother what happened, but not Mom. My brother let him live "because I like the guy".
Not long after I lost my crush on the fella, he traded me in on a YOUNGER model! Yes, this would be the first of several times in my life this happened to me. And so it goes....
At the end of the conversation, he asked for my phone number..and said if I didn't give it to him, he'd just call my Mom to get it. Said something snarky about...."She likes me". LOL.
I dare him! I'm not 15 anymore. Im almost 48, ...and he and Mom can do their Eddie Haskell, June Cleaver imitation and see if it still works like it did! :))
"Gee...Mrs. Cleaver, you're looking lovely today...."
Yes. Some men can be so silly and gullible like that. They believe that "I like mine on the living room chair....near my room! Or sometimes, the kitchen table." means I am talking about sex too!
Good gawd almighty! *sigh*
A few of us decided we would change our status lines to where we like to put our purse when we walk in the door, only we wouldn't explain what we were talking about. So, I changed my status to read:
"I like mine on the living room chair....near my room! Or sometimes, the kitchen table."
Well it would seem that most of my friends on FB are men....because the reaction was instanteous and positively combustible. Hil-a-ri-ous. And quite predictable.
They all thought we were talking about SEX. :))
While I won't copy and paste their comments here because I don't thin that's fair, I can tell you I was forced to take my status line down early today because I was inundated with indecent proposals and comments. *sigh*
But, out of the chaos, came some coolness. A good friend of my big brother's has reconnected with me. My mother LOVED HIM when we were in high school. I crushed on him badly....but from a safe distance at school....and at home with my Dad and big brother around to throw cold water on us when our flirting got out of hand.
So we had a nice chat last night. I learned that MY MOTHER made him take me out the one and only time we ever went out. I was 15, he was 17. I can't believe my mother was that big of an IDIOT!!!! I am now the mother of a 15 year old girl (who loos incredibly like I did at the same age), and I would in NO WAY fix her up with a boy and make him take her out. OMG...I am SO relieved she has decided SHE doesn't want to date so she can focus on school and wrestling! Yay!
But I digress, so this fella took me out on a Friday night. We cruised the usual hangouts in his car (can't even remember what he drove back then), then I guess in his brilliant, hormone induced mind, figured if MY MOM gave him permission to take her 15 year old out, he had permission to take me PARKING!!! He told me last night he only wanted a kiss (which he got, and I was pretty happy about it the time) but when he pushed for more, I was pretty repulsed and told him to take me home. Unbeknownst to him he was out with a virgin who intended to remain that way....at least a little longer than that evening! ;)
So, he took me home and I quickly lost my crush on him. *poof* I told my brother what happened, but not Mom. My brother let him live "because I like the guy".
Not long after I lost my crush on the fella, he traded me in on a YOUNGER model! Yes, this would be the first of several times in my life this happened to me. And so it goes....
At the end of the conversation, he asked for my phone number..and said if I didn't give it to him, he'd just call my Mom to get it. Said something snarky about...."She likes me". LOL.
I dare him! I'm not 15 anymore. Im almost 48, ...and he and Mom can do their Eddie Haskell, June Cleaver imitation and see if it still works like it did! :))
"Gee...Mrs. Cleaver, you're looking lovely today...."
Yes. Some men can be so silly and gullible like that. They believe that "I like mine on the living room chair....near my room! Or sometimes, the kitchen table." means I am talking about sex too!
Good gawd almighty! *sigh*
Monday, October 4, 2010
Rainy days and Mondays....and my blonde ambition!
^sigh* It's after midnight, and it's Monday. Rainy days and Mondays...always get me down. :)
Start a new job this week. It's not a real job, as in what I've been doing for years, but it pays and it will keep a roof over our heads and what not...while I find the RIGHT job, paying what I'm used to making doing what I'm used to doing. I go in tomorrow to do the orientation paperwork, get put in the payroll system and complete I-9 and all of that stuff. Such fun...a new employer, a new boss. I still need a REAL job.
My sweet lovely daughter left me a really awesome note on Facebook tonight...and I didn't even have to harass her. She's been spending the last few weeks at her Dads house due to wrestling practice and her tutoring schedule. I miss her and her twin brother like crazy. Bro is coming home tomorrow and will be here till Friday am, when he'll return to school. Their Dad will pick up Friday night after work and they're headed to North Carolina for his mothers for the weekend. I am seriously in need of time with my kids, but I'm glad they're spending good quality time with their dear old Dad.
So my internet flirt fest has taken a temporary breather...which was probably good. It was getting smoking hot and someone mights gotten hurt...over the internet! lol. He's been busy working and I've been busy playing this weekend (my last weekend of freedom from work). LOL
My bestie from 1st grade did my hair last night. She took my mousy brown frumpy all one length hair, cut, highlighted and blow dried it...and turned me into a hot blonde looking 10-15 years younger than my true age. I mean to tell you...nothing does wonders for a woman like a good cut n color! Woo hoo!
And blondes definitely have more fun!...I took a nice long walk down the highway from my apartment today. I had to get out of the house and enjoy our perfect fall weather (under 70 all day, totally sunny with a nice breeze). Perfect walking weather. I got more honks and cat calls than I have in years! AMAZING. I should have done this eons ago! Don't know why I didn't.
So...now I need to get back to my exercise program and tone up to make my young looking face and hair match my middle-age-ish body. *sigh*
Why is it we start to turn to mush just after the clock hits 4-0? I have always been stick thin my whole life...could eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce. Now...all I have to do is look at food and I gain. Sort of like back 15 years ago all I had to do was sit next to Robbie and I would get knocked up. It just happens with no effort at all.
Is the weight gain the price of men-o-pause? No men, everything on pause? If that's what it is....at least I can't get pregnant. With twin almost 16 year olds, i don't think I could go back to newborn days. Except maybe as a Grammy....and whoa Nellie, I'm sure not ready for that. Not yet anyway. In ten years, perhaps. But not now.
So I'm looking forward to dear daughter the exercise freak coming home, because I'm going to have her start working me out and getting me back to my fighting weight. I think she'll be very happy about this....either that, or we'll fight like cats and dogs and that will be the end of it.
She is a mini-me...our personalties are very similar. We're intensely intense about the things that matter to us...she her wrestling, me my children, she her figure, me...once upon a time, my figure (before babies when I had time to work out six days a week). And now I am entering upon the middle ages....and I want to be a hot blonde momma for a few years before everything sags to the floor and the horns stop honkin! :))
Perhaps I'll hear from my smokin hot internet flirt fest man, Paddy O'Whacker. He's a really good guy, but a total mystery to me. He's a blast to flirt with...so stay tuned. This could be the start of......?
Well that's all for now...see I told you I'd be back. And I was!
Nite all....
Start a new job this week. It's not a real job, as in what I've been doing for years, but it pays and it will keep a roof over our heads and what not...while I find the RIGHT job, paying what I'm used to making doing what I'm used to doing. I go in tomorrow to do the orientation paperwork, get put in the payroll system and complete I-9 and all of that stuff. Such fun...a new employer, a new boss. I still need a REAL job.
My sweet lovely daughter left me a really awesome note on Facebook tonight...and I didn't even have to harass her. She's been spending the last few weeks at her Dads house due to wrestling practice and her tutoring schedule. I miss her and her twin brother like crazy. Bro is coming home tomorrow and will be here till Friday am, when he'll return to school. Their Dad will pick up Friday night after work and they're headed to North Carolina for his mothers for the weekend. I am seriously in need of time with my kids, but I'm glad they're spending good quality time with their dear old Dad.
So my internet flirt fest has taken a temporary breather...which was probably good. It was getting smoking hot and someone mights gotten hurt...over the internet! lol. He's been busy working and I've been busy playing this weekend (my last weekend of freedom from work). LOL
My bestie from 1st grade did my hair last night. She took my mousy brown frumpy all one length hair, cut, highlighted and blow dried it...and turned me into a hot blonde looking 10-15 years younger than my true age. I mean to tell you...nothing does wonders for a woman like a good cut n color! Woo hoo!
And blondes definitely have more fun!...I took a nice long walk down the highway from my apartment today. I had to get out of the house and enjoy our perfect fall weather (under 70 all day, totally sunny with a nice breeze). Perfect walking weather. I got more honks and cat calls than I have in years! AMAZING. I should have done this eons ago! Don't know why I didn't.
So...now I need to get back to my exercise program and tone up to make my young looking face and hair match my middle-age-ish body. *sigh*
Why is it we start to turn to mush just after the clock hits 4-0? I have always been stick thin my whole life...could eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce. Now...all I have to do is look at food and I gain. Sort of like back 15 years ago all I had to do was sit next to Robbie and I would get knocked up. It just happens with no effort at all.
Is the weight gain the price of men-o-pause? No men, everything on pause? If that's what it is....at least I can't get pregnant. With twin almost 16 year olds, i don't think I could go back to newborn days. Except maybe as a Grammy....and whoa Nellie, I'm sure not ready for that. Not yet anyway. In ten years, perhaps. But not now.
So I'm looking forward to dear daughter the exercise freak coming home, because I'm going to have her start working me out and getting me back to my fighting weight. I think she'll be very happy about this....either that, or we'll fight like cats and dogs and that will be the end of it.
She is a mini-me...our personalties are very similar. We're intensely intense about the things that matter to us...she her wrestling, me my children, she her figure, me...once upon a time, my figure (before babies when I had time to work out six days a week). And now I am entering upon the middle ages....and I want to be a hot blonde momma for a few years before everything sags to the floor and the horns stop honkin! :))
Perhaps I'll hear from my smokin hot internet flirt fest man, Paddy O'Whacker. He's a really good guy, but a total mystery to me. He's a blast to flirt with...so stay tuned. This could be the start of......?
Well that's all for now...see I told you I'd be back. And I was!
Nite all....
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Feels Like Home Tonight...
Well, it's obvious...I am not good at maintaining my blog. That we have established. But as I sit here at 3 am, hair looking awesome cuz I just got it done today and feeling 20 years younger, I think I am going to re-dedicate myself to my writing. Someone recently told me they liked it, and that I am GOOD at it (but isn't everyone in this day and age with the internet?) Regardless, I am totally flattered!
So, lets see where are we now? The twinlets are with their Dad this weekend. I am having a smoking internet flirt fest with a man from my past I haven't seen in...almost 35 years. I don't know about him, but this is just the shot in the arm I needed. We went to elementary and middle school together. He was a pretty good looking kid and a real nice guy back then, and I was one skinny awkward strange child (at least that's how I remember things). I have no idea what he looks like right now, but you know what? It doesn't matter....he's engaged my mind....captured my attention, and challenged me to write again. AND...he likes my writing. Every note, every comment, its a test of wits...because I have to tell you, he can write too. And the best part is we seem to "get" each other....which is kind of unusual for me. In my past men haven't exactly been really interested "getting" me, or in my writing.
So anyway this Facebook thing that I originally joined so I could spy on my twinlets has actually enabled me to get caught up with people I thought I'd never see again. Including my bestie since 1st grade (who did my hair today and I am telling you, that girl can DO HAIR!) and the man who is making me behave like a teenager in heat.
So...yeah, right now it feels like I have gone home....where I belong. People from my past have returned to my life. I assumed they were lost to me forever and it feels SO good to have them back. So, thank you, Facebook geeks! I don't care if that movie makes you all look like plastic pocket protector nerds. This world needs smart young people to innovate and create...and if its the nerds who are meant to do the work, so be it!! More power to you!!
Been listening to a song that kind of speaks to my heart about the place I find myself in tonight. Gonna post the link (I hope, not sure if I can get this right, I'll try)....
I'm gonna sigh off with that, but I'll be back later today! I promise (I know, I knoww, I've said it before).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-ouxPhYy7Y&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Take care,
Jeny
So, lets see where are we now? The twinlets are with their Dad this weekend. I am having a smoking internet flirt fest with a man from my past I haven't seen in...almost 35 years. I don't know about him, but this is just the shot in the arm I needed. We went to elementary and middle school together. He was a pretty good looking kid and a real nice guy back then, and I was one skinny awkward strange child (at least that's how I remember things). I have no idea what he looks like right now, but you know what? It doesn't matter....he's engaged my mind....captured my attention, and challenged me to write again. AND...he likes my writing. Every note, every comment, its a test of wits...because I have to tell you, he can write too. And the best part is we seem to "get" each other....which is kind of unusual for me. In my past men haven't exactly been really interested "getting" me, or in my writing.
So anyway this Facebook thing that I originally joined so I could spy on my twinlets has actually enabled me to get caught up with people I thought I'd never see again. Including my bestie since 1st grade (who did my hair today and I am telling you, that girl can DO HAIR!) and the man who is making me behave like a teenager in heat.
So...yeah, right now it feels like I have gone home....where I belong. People from my past have returned to my life. I assumed they were lost to me forever and it feels SO good to have them back. So, thank you, Facebook geeks! I don't care if that movie makes you all look like plastic pocket protector nerds. This world needs smart young people to innovate and create...and if its the nerds who are meant to do the work, so be it!! More power to you!!
Been listening to a song that kind of speaks to my heart about the place I find myself in tonight. Gonna post the link (I hope, not sure if I can get this right, I'll try)....
I'm gonna sigh off with that, but I'll be back later today! I promise (I know, I knoww, I've said it before).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-ouxPhYy7Y&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Take care,
Jeny
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