Ho hum ho hum

Well, its Monday and Memorial Day. Nothing special planned. Hanging around the house, getting kids ready to go spend Tuesday through Thursday or Friday with their Dad (daughter has wrestling camp, Dad has a car, I do not, so he gets 'em by default). Otherwise, I would be doing all the driving.

Although I have Sole Custody of the kids, lately I feel like a visitor in their lives. To put it kindly, their father has never gotten over his anger at me for leaving, and he freely shares his feelings with the kids. Their attitude toward me has changed so much since they began spending a lot of time with thier Dad. I used to write it off to their age (15), but when I pay careful attention to the words of contempt they sometimes use towards me, I hear their father coming out of their mouth. I can't tell you how it breaks my heart, but it does.

For 15 years, I have made sure not to bad mouth their father--no matter how badly he deserved it. I have gone out of my way to foster a relationship between the three. I've never asked for an increase in child support, I've never done anything except take a really sucky situation and try to make the best of it.

And the thanks I get? He trashes me and maligns me to our children, buys them things I couldn't possibly buy for them and holds the whole "I have a car, your Mom doesn't" over their heads....a carrot. "You like me better than your Mom".

This....after *I* have done all the hard work. Took care of them when they were preemie infants, made sure they had the surgeries and medical care they needed, walked the floors with sick kids, paid their bills, kissed their boo-boos, taught them to read, to ride a bike, and basically gave up having a life of my own so that I'd be available to them.

And now....I feel like yesterday's garbage. I get to wash clothes today, and pack for them, and send them off to Disney Daddy. Where he gets all the credit for being wonderful. Where there are no rules. Where it's OK to talk trash about their Mom. Heck, I even get to pay for the phones they use to send unflattering messages about me back and forth. Last time that happened I forwarded a copy to my phone and let Dad know it was unacceptable. That I wasn't going to pay for these phones so he could use them to undermine me with the kids. If he wants to buy and pay for their phones, be my guest, but I'd better not catch that nonsense happening again. So far...it hasn't, but it's only been a couple of weeks.

So...what's he do? He shorted our last child support check by $80. Nice job. That's grocery money for your kids, you doofus! You think you hurt me with that nonsense (and you do), but you HURT THE KIDS WORSE. Just had to tell our son "no money" when he wanted to order a pizza (because the shelves are getting bare). Coulda (and had planned to) buy groceries with that $80. Oh well...now Disney Daddy can spend it on these two bottomless pit teenagers when he picks them up!

I know I'm not the first (or the last) Mom to go through this, but dadgum this stuff hurts. And I'm tired of it.

See, told ya I'm not always funny! :)) My sense of humor will return, though. I promise. Today's just a rough day....

Jeny